Would you forgive someone who cheated on you? That question draws out several different observations.
3. Choosing to forgive on a mental level is something you can do. You choose to lay down your ways of getting revenge and choose to want the best for someone - consciously.
4. However, that still leaves another question. Can you forgive someone from your heart just by choosing to do so? No you cannot. Our will and conscious mind cannot overrule our heart (emotional brain.)
Forgiveness of the heart comes with time or with deep healing or as a gift of God. We cannot do that on our own. This may explain the value of good psychotherapy.
By the way, another step is forgiving yourself for allowing this. That is another story.
It was like I lived in a fog when I was young. That is how weak my sense of self was. A strong inner force worked below the surface. It tried to connect with God for the love and life I so much needed. See: