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    • EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
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      • Couple Therapy
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    • Love Addiction
    • Narcissism
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Blog Entries by George

6/8/2018 Comments

Would you, could you forgive someone who cheated on you?

Would you forgive someone who cheated on you? That question draws out several different observations.
  1. For example, can I, or should I trust someone who betrayed me? Trust is a different issue than forgiveness and cannot be rushed. It must be earned.
2. If I forgive the one who betrayed me does that mean I am not angry with them and hurt? No. You can choose to forgive but still need to talk about the issues and you may still be angry and hurt.
3. Choosing to forgive on a mental level is something you can do. You choose to lay down your ways of getting revenge and choose to want the best for someone - consciously.
4. However, that still leaves another question. Can you forgive someone from your heart just by choosing to do so? No you cannot. Our will and conscious mind cannot overrule our heart (emotional brain.)
Forgiveness of the heart comes with time or with deep healing or as a gift of God. We cannot do that on our own. This may explain the value of good psychotherapy.
By the way, another step is forgiving yourself for allowing this. That is another story.
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    It was like I lived in a fog when I was young. That is how weak my sense of self was. A strong inner force worked below the surface. It tried to connect with God for the love and life I so much needed. See:
    1. Life in a Fog / Finding Light
    2. 

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