Welcome to my professional page where I help people deal with the harmful habit of people-pleasing. As a qualified professional, I have extensive knowledge and experience in understanding the primary drive and motivation of the people-pleaser.
The people-pleaser's primary motivation is to earn love by following a set of rules, which we refer to as the "Program." This program has rules like never getting angry, always being nice, and getting everything done perfectly. The program may also mean being good, achieving in school or work, or accomplishing a lot in your day. However, following this program often leads to a distorted personality where doing substitutes for love, leading to anxiety and depression.
Temporary rewards for following the program include achieving social status, parental approval, and recognition, which brings good feelings that substitute for knowing and experiencing unconditional, unearned love and acceptance just for who you are.
However, anxiety about not deserving love, not being good enough, or being bad may undermine one's assurance in the program. This anxiety can lead to depression and a sense of shame, where people-pleasers sacrifice their voice, feelings, and assertive selves to gain love.
Moreover, people-pleasers may lose track of their identity, and their personality becomes entirely focused on doing what is right. They will shift their personality to suit the person or group they are with, leading to a loss of touch with their inner child and what it feels like to be authentic and vulnerable.
Love failures as a people-pleaser occur when they become lost within and have no identity to meet their love partners. This makes it challenging to participate in healthy love relationships, leaving their partner feeling lonely and frustrated.
The competitive nature of people-pleasers comes from feeling neglected and lacking security in love and healthy attachments, leading to a competitive side to them. They end up striving to be loved and blaming themselves for their supposed lacks, leading to personality distortion, addiction to competition, and stress, which can result in a Type A personality and heart attacks.
However, with the help of a professionally qualified guide, you can overcome these harmful habits built on early family experiences, sustained by significant rewards and ingrained beliefs. Change is possible with the right guidance and support.
If you recognize yourself as a People Pleaser and feel ready to take action towards changing this pattern, there is help available. I have my own experience in dealing with people-pleasing, and I am dedicated to guiding you towards a happier and more fulfilling life. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me for any assistance.
He is available for phone or Zoom sessions and can guide you on your journey towards change. To learn more about my services, you can reach me at (416) 939-0544.
In conclusion, I am here to help you deal with people-pleasing, and I am dedicated to guiding you towards a happier and more fulfilling life. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me for any assistance.
Re: Christian psychotherapy: I offer a unique approach to healing that goes beyond just addressing the cognitive and emotional aspects of our being. It also encompasses the spiritual dimension, including our personal issues of identity, attachment, experiencing meaning, peace, and joy, as well as our connection to God for divine love and wisdom. This three-level approach focuses on healing at the heart level using the principles of memory reconsolidation, providing guidance and support at the conscious level, and addressing issues related to love, attachment, and connection with our divine source at the human spirit level. My faith-based approach provides Christian counseling at all levels of the cognitive, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of our being.