I doubt that you can develop a thriving love relationship with a person who has Avoidant personality? This is true even if the person has the best of intentions. Why is that?
In my observations it is not the conscious self that maintains the avoidant pattern that is so destructive to loving relationships, instead it is the heart or unconscious self.
Therefore, do not put a person who has a need, interest or capability for a thriving love relationship close to an Avoidant Personality. It will not be a good match.
in my observation, the person with the Avoidant Personality is absolutely closed, at the heart level, to a love relationship. That will never change. Though, at times, it may not look that hopeless.
The Avoidant Personality may act like they want the love relationship. They may believe they want a love relationship. But if that is the case, it because they do not know their heart.
The heart of the Avoidant Personality is completely opposed to a love relationship and their heart will be thoroughly and completely effective in blocking love simply by refusing to enter into a heart-felt relationship.
The heart has reasons of its own and who can know it. But if your heart, or her heart, is really completely avoidant it will not change. You can be married for 20 years and it will not change.
Loving someone who has no intention to love you at the heart level is frustrating, depressing, discouraging, debilitating and sucks the life out of you. It is death by a thousand avoidances. It is painful. It is not good for your health.
Best, therefore, to avoid the Avoidant Person when looking for a healthy long=term relationship.
It was like I lived in a fog when I was young. That is how weak my sense of self was. A strong inner force worked below the surface. It tried to connect with God for the love and life I so much needed. See: