I am going to jump in here and define depression as the flow of life through our soul, heart and out into life. Our inner man is nurtured and maintained by this flow of life and love.
The source of the flow is transcendent - beyond what we see and feel - and this flow must flow through us and out to others in order for us to benefit from that flow. That is why Jesus said we must forgive if we are to experience forgiveness ourselves.
Depression is the disease that happens when the flow is blocked, the river of life is dammed up. With no flow of life energy, we feel depressed. Instead of a stream flowing with fresh water, we become a swamp with stagnant water.
Now if this is true and makes sense to you then you need to think about how to unblock the flow of life. Let me know if this does make sense and gives you any answers.
The flow of life means to love others unselfishly, to give generously to others, to share the blessings of life with others - not being stingy, selfish withholding.
Tesla is an example of a very humble man who pursued his love of inventions with passion and with total unselfishness, generosity and sharing with others. His desire to offer ‘free energy’ to all was blocked by mean selfish bankers who had no such motives.
I now believe that Tesla owes his great creativity to his willingness to give away what he discovered. The source of his imagination and intuition seems to reward that unselfish generous spirit.
Those depressed need to enter the flow of life by opening up to blessing others, opening up to the blessings of life, developing gratitude and enjoying loving unselfishly and audaciously. Embrace life.
I am writing a book on the healing of the Inner Child. I Believe the freeing and healing of our Inner child is important. Here are some reasons why.
You can get by without a free Inner Child and miss out when it comes to love and intimacy. You can make it through without a healed Inner Child but will miss out on a level of joy, and creativity. Freeing your Inner Child is about enjoying more of life, love, and God by finding healing and freedom of your Inner Child.
If your Inner Child is not free and healthy you are going to be anxious or depressed. If your Inner Child is freed, you will begin to experience more abundant life, vital energy, and less depression. I mean it, your repressed Inner Child is a primary cause of depression and anxiety and panic attacks.
Becoming ‘like a little child’ opens your heart to receive more of God’s love, be filled with the radiant light of God’s presence and enjoy greater access to divine creativity. You begin celebrating God’s presence everywhere and living in a stream of joy.
Freeing your Inner Child is remembering who you are, discovering your deepest heartfelt desires and removing the veils on your eyes to see life more clearly and be fully present in each moment of your life.
Your Inner Child allows you to feel life more deeply and have more active intuition (gut instinct).
Others will notice as your Inner Child gets healed. Many will sense that you are more present and make eye contact with greater ease. Some will sense that your spirit is getting brighter.
As your heart breaks open, your tears will flow more easily. It is almost that you are experiencing the heart of God. At those times you will find that the Holy Spirit flows through your prayers with great ease.
That means we should be willing to go to great lengths to heal and free out Inner Child.
Is time the greatest healer of emotional pain?
Briefly no. Emotional pain is recorded in the Emotional Brain and once there does not erase with more time.
In fact, there are very specific conditions to be met to allow even editing of emotional pain memories.
Not all therapies meet these specific conditions. Cognitive behavioural does not, for example.
Long term change and permanent change requires the right key to ‘Unlock’ the memory and then there must be emotional experiences that contradict the original memory and beliefs resulting from the memory. This must happen within a small time window of about 5 hours.
My practice of Christian inner healing prayer therapy changed 20 years ago when I learned how to provide this therapy in ways that meet the conditions for long term permanent life transformation.
Other therapies like EMDR and Coherence Therapy also meet these conditions and that is why I am equipping myself with a thorough understanding of these skills as well.
How is bi-polar related to codependent?
Can a bi-polar person be considered a co-dependent?
Yes, a codependent person can be bi-polar. I believe they are related problems.
My theory is that the Super-responsible person who comes out of a Parental Inversion family system has suppression fo the Inner child which causes a life of depression. It also leads into all kind of ‘codependent’ type relationships.
The personality system that keeps the Inner Child bottled up sometimes breaks down and the Inner child breaks out and does stuff it has been prevented from doing. There are now no controls on the Inner Child and the result may feel pleasant but end up disastrous.
That is, I believe, how bi-polar gets set up.
Would a person with an Avoidant Personality be Married with Children?
Can a person with avoidant personality disorder have a wife and children?
Yes they can.
The avoidant male or female is somewhat an expert at being peaceful and looking very calm and together. If their partner is not sensitive to the lack of personal sharing in the relationship, then it is quite possible for an avoidant person to end up married and with children.
The Avoidant Personality creates the persona that accomplishes their life purpose to look like they are living when they are just going through the motions. The Avoidant woman looks like the perfect wife by doing everything by the book, following rules, robotic-like. Think of the Stepford wives.
For the Avoidant to avoid risk it is advantageous to be married and have children. It is a safe place to hide. No one can demand that they change. No one thinks there is anything wrong. They are, after all intensely, focused on keeping up appearances and, therefore, looking the part.
Only if their spouse needs intimacy will ther be a problem - a growing dissatisfaction. There is sex without bonding, conversations without sharing, live without real connection. The marital connection, the holy bond, gradually withers away through neglect and so do the two marital partners.
The resultant relationship lacks real love. Is not life-giving. Is not emotionally healthy. But looks like the perfect marriage. Imagine the possibilities for gas-lighting. If you are married to the Avoidant spouse you will never be able to explain to them or to others why you are deeply dissatisfied with the marriage.
Confront your partner? That never happens with an avoidant spouse.
You may not even be clear in your own mind what is wrong. You do not realize that the most basic ingredient in a true godly marriage is missing - the connection, bonding, unity. You may not understand why you are sick and dying. Love maintains the human spirit - our core being. Our core being maintains the health of our body. When the spirit languishes for lack of love so will the body.
How do you explain to someone outside the marriage that you can never talk about anything of personal significance with you partner? You can't. No one understands. It is very difficult to explain to your friends and allies what is wrong unless they discern it themselves.
Is people-pleasing part of dependent personality disorder? I am going to look at a definition of the Dependent Personality and add comments as to the People Pleaser.
The dependent personality:
EMDR is a special treatment protocol that does more than relieve the symptoms but deeply changes the perceptions about yourself and others and decreases the pain of past abuses or negative experiences.
EMDR an evidence-based psychotherapy that has shown to effectively and efficiently eliminate the symptoms of stress and trauma. Also EMDR is helpful to treat:
EMDR has been found to be a simple method to lessen the impact of trauma on how people behave, think and feel about themselves. Such as:
Situations and circumstances that can bring about a traumatic stress response are many. It may not even be as extreme as this list: Sexual abuse or assault, Domestic Violence, Transportation accidents, Military combat, Natural disasters, Childhood physical, verbal, sexual and psychological abuse.
Frequent exposure to threatening situations such as those experienced by First Responders (EMS, police, firefighters, ER nurses & physicians).
Second-hand trauma involves observing or learning about threatening or abusive events effecting your loved one.
I doubt that you can develop a thriving love relationship with a person who has Avoidant personality? This is true even if the person has the best of intentions. Why is that?
In my observations it is not the conscious self that maintains the avoidant pattern that is so destructive to loving relationships, instead it is the heart or unconscious self.
Therefore, do not put a person who has a need, interest or capability for a thriving love relationship close to an Avoidant Personality. It will not be a good match.
in my observation, the person with the Avoidant Personality is absolutely closed, at the heart level, to a love relationship. That will never change. Though, at times, it may not look that hopeless.
The Avoidant Personality may act like they want the love relationship. They may believe they want a love relationship. But if that is the case, it because they do not know their heart.
The heart of the Avoidant Personality is completely opposed to a love relationship and their heart will be thoroughly and completely effective in blocking love simply by refusing to enter into a heart-felt relationship.
The heart has reasons of its own and who can know it. But if your heart, or her heart, is really completely avoidant it will not change. You can be married for 20 years and it will not change.
Loving someone who has no intention to love you at the heart level is frustrating, depressing, discouraging, debilitating and sucks the life out of you. It is death by a thousand avoidances. It is painful. It is not good for your health.
Best, therefore, to avoid the Avoidant Person when looking for a healthy long=term relationship.
Katherine of Toronto, writes, 'In my childhood I was often neglected, abandoned and rejected. George helped me to understand the root of family issues after one session. He uncovered core issues that were holding me back as an adult and has given me the emotional and spiritual support to rise above the abandonment and rejection I went through as a child.'
Sasha sacrificed to get started and reports, 'I knew I was in a crisis and that I needed something more intense. I needed more time with somebody. It was very hard for me financially but I was determined because I knew I had to get here.
I've never developed compassion for myself before - learned how to do it and actually do it. I am healing a little girl in a woman's body. Even though it was a lot of work to come, I have a lot of solid resources and I discovered I had a connection with God that I never knew I had. I just feel a lot lighter. My philosophy will be to love life, be pure and have faith. '
Many people feel desperate like Gene of Toronto, Ontario who reports, "I desperately needed someone to talk with and help me work out the struggles that I was facing. George was the first therapist I had ever sat down with and with him I felt completely relaxed. His healing prayer therapy had a tremendously positive effect on my life; I literally was freed from strongholds that were at work in my life. I am very grateful to George and sincerely recommend him." (Gene experienced Gentle Deliverance)
Ken was dealing with depression. He describes our work as follows, 'I have learned to trust George and his advice. I like the fact that George is gentle (non-judgmental), realistic (practical), has empathy and gives me hope and, therefore, something to stand on and to carefully work out. George left some principles with me on getting out of depression. I came out of the depression. I am learning to accept that, as a child of God, God loves me and not to judge myself.'
Brief in depth psychotherapy is effective much quicker than normal. Elizabeth of Ontario wrote this, 'I am amazed at the results. Not only has God given me tremendous insight into my emotional scars and the lies I had believed, He has also replaced these with His truth. I have experienced phenomenal healing and am now confident that complete healing is possible in the immediate future. The added bonus is that, throughout this process, Jesus has become very real, personal and dear to me."
It was like I lived in a fog when I was young. That is how weak my sense of self was. A strong inner force worked below the surface. It tried to connect with God for the love and life I so much needed. See:
Report of marriage therapy with a narcissist.
For psychotherapy / therapy for anxiety Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville.
Understanding Psychotherapy for Bipolar Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario.
Healing Codependent Issues with therapy and self-help.
Christian therapy, psychotherapy for Depression in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
Therapy/therapist for Nervous Breakdown, Mental Oakville, Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario.
Deliverance from evil strongholds in Christian Therapy/ counselling Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario
What causes Psychopathy, therapy, psychotherapy Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
Codependency and Christian marriage counselling
Christian therapy, counselling Dealing with Curses, Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville, Ontario.
10 Blocks to Marital Intimacy
Avoidant Personality and Silent Divorce, Christians and Divorce
Links to Life Transformation Group:
George HartwellAnna Wolanczyk Psychotherapy Blog
Registered Christian Psychotherapist in Mississauga
Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga, Toronto Polish speaking
Anna Wolanczyk registered psychotherapist by Skype, in Mississauga, Toronto, Ontario
George Hartwell registered psychotherapist and Christian counsellor in Mississauga, Toronto by Skype or phone or in person
Life Coaching by Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga