People Pleasers and Codependents
How are doormats or people pleasers different from codependents?
They have two different primary motivations. At a deep level, the primary need of the people pleaser is love. The primary need of the codependent is order.
The people pleaser sacrifices authentic identity in order to gain love or approval.
The codependent sacrifices one’s own needs for care to care for others.
The people pleaser undermines marriage by not being present as an authentic self.
The codependent undermines marriage by being too involved with helping those in need outside of the family.
It was like I lived in a fog when I was young. That is how weak my sense of self was. A strong inner force worked below the surface. It tried to connect with God for the love and life I so much needed. See: