How is bi-polar related to codependent?
Can a bi-polar person be considered a co-dependent?
Yes, a codependent person can be bi-polar. I believe they are related problems.
My theory is that the Super-responsible person who comes out of a Parental Inversion family system has suppression fo the Inner child which causes a life of depression. It also leads into all kind of ‘codependent’ type relationships.
The personality system that keeps the Inner Child bottled up sometimes breaks down and the Inner child breaks out and does stuff it has been prevented from doing. There are now no controls on the Inner Child and the result may feel pleasant but end up disastrous.
That is, I believe, how bi-polar gets set up.
Would a person with an Avoidant Personality be Married with Children?
Can a person with avoidant personality disorder have a wife and children?
Yes they can.
The avoidant male or female is somewhat an expert at being peaceful and looking very calm and together. If their partner is not sensitive to the lack of personal sharing in the relationship, then it is quite possible for an avoidant person to end up married and with children.
Like the psychopath the Avoidant Personality creates the persona that accomplishes their life purpose to look like they are living when they are just going through the motions. The Avoidant woman look like the perfect wife by doing everything by the book, following rules, robotic-like. Think of the Stepford wives.
For the Avoidant to avoid risk it is advantageous to be married and have children. It is a safe place to hide. No one can demand that they change. No one thinks there is anything wrong. They are, after all intensely, focused on keeping up appearances and, therefore, looking the part.
Only if their spouse needs intimacy there will be a problem - a growing dissatisfaction. There is sex without bonding, conversations without sharing, live without real connection. The marital connection, the holy bond, gradually withers away through neglect.
The resultant relationship lacks real love. Is not life-giving. Is not emotionally healthy. But looks like the perfect marriage. Imagine the possibilities for gas-lighting. If you are married to the Avoidant spouse you will never be able to explain to them or to others why you are deeply dissatisfied with the marriage.
Confront your partner? That never happens with an avoidant spouse.
You may not even be clear in your own mind what is wrong. You do not realize that the most basic ingredient in a true godly marriage is missing - the connection, bonding, unity. And they are so good at covering their tracks.
How do you explain to someone outside the marriage that you can never talk about anything of personal significance with you partner? You can't. No one understands. It is very difficult to explain to your friends and allies what is wrong unless they discern it themselves.
Is people-pleasing part of dependent personality disorder? I am going to look at a definition of the Dependent Personality and add comments as to the People Pleaser.
The dependent personality:
EMDR is a special treatment protocol that does more than relieve the symptoms but deeply changes the perceptions about yourself and others and decreases the pain of past abuses or negative experiences.
EMDR an evidence-based psychotherapy that has shown to effectively and efficiently eliminate the symptoms of stress and trauma. Also EMDR is helpful to treat:
EMDR has been found to be a simple method to lessen the impact of trauma on how people behave, think and feel about themselves. Such as:
Situations and circumstances that can bring about a traumatic stress response are many. It may not even be as extreme as this list: Sexual abuse or assault, Domestic Violence, Transportation accidents, Military combat, Natural disasters, Childhood physical, verbal, sexual and psychological abuse.
Frequent exposure to threatening situations such as those experienced by First Responders (EMS, police, firefighters, ER nurses & physicians).
Second-hand trauma involves observing or learning about threatening or abusive events effecting your loved one.
I doubt that you can develop a thriving love relationship with a person who has Avoidant personality? This is true even if the person has the best of intentions. Why is that?
In my observations it is not the conscious self that maintains the avoidant pattern that is so destructive to loving relationships, instead it is the heart or unconscious self.
Therefore, do not put a person who has a need, interest or capability for a thriving love relationship close to an Avoidant Personality. It will not be a good match.
in my observation, the person with the Avoidant Personality is absolutely closed, at the heart level, to a love relationship. That will never change. Though, at times, it may not look that hopeless.
The Avoidant Personality may act like they want the love relationship. They may believe they want a love relationship. But if that is the case, it because they do not know their heart.
The heart of the Avoidant Personality is completely opposed to a love relationship and their heart will be thoroughly and completely effective in blocking love simply by refusing to enter into a heart-felt relationship.
The heart has reasons of its own and who can know it. But if your heart, or her heart, is really completely avoidant it will not change. You can be married for 20 years and it will not change.
Loving someone who has no intention to love you at the heart level is frustrating, depressing, discouraging, debilitating and sucks the life out of you. It is death by a thousand avoidances. It is painful. It is not good for your health.
Best, therefore, to avoid the Avoidant Person when looking for a healthy long=term relationship.
Katherine of Toronto, writes, 'In my childhood I was often neglected, abandoned and rejected. George helped me to understand the root of family issues after one session. He uncovered core issues that were holding me back as an adult and has given me the emotional and spiritual support to rise above the abandonment and rejection I went through as a child.'
Sasha sacrificed to get started and reports, 'I knew I was in a crisis and that I needed something more intense. I needed more time with somebody. It was very hard for me financially but I was determined because I knew I had to get here.
I've never developed compassion for myself before - learned how to do it and actually do it. I am healing a little girl in a woman's body. Even though it was a lot of work to come, I have a lot of solid resources and I discovered I had a connection with God that I never knew I had. I just feel a lot lighter. My philosophy will be to love life, be pure and have faith. '
Many people feel desperate like Gene of Toronto, Ontario who reports, "I desperately needed someone to talk with and help me work out the struggles that I was facing. George was the first therapist I had ever sat down with and with him I felt completely relaxed. His healing prayer therapy had a tremendously positive effect on my life; I literally was freed from strongholds that were at work in my life. I am very grateful to George and sincerely recommend him." (Gene experienced Gentle Deliverance)
Ken was dealing with depression. He describes our work as follows, 'I have learned to trust George and his advice. I like the fact that George is gentle (non-judgmental), realistic (practical), has empathy and gives me hope and, therefore, something to stand on and to carefully work out. George left some principles with me on getting out of depression. I came out of the depression. I am learning to accept that, as a child of God, God loves me and not to judge myself.'
Brief in depth psychotherapy is effective much quicker than normal. Elizabeth of Ontario wrote this, 'I am amazed at the results. Not only has God given me tremendous insight into my emotional scars and the lies I had believed, He has also replaced these with His truth. I have experienced phenomenal healing and am now confident that complete healing is possible in the immediate future. The added bonus is that, throughout this process, Jesus has become very real, personal and dear to me."
Listening is important in parenting - it supports a child's ability to communicate.
Listening is important in marriage - listening to and acknowledging your partner's feelings supports your partner and the bonding between you.
When your counsellor listens to you. It helps you to communicate when someone listens without an agenda. It supports your identity or identity building process. It helps you clarifying your thinking. It helps you solve problems.
The client who feels listened to feels loved. Depressed people very quickly begin to feel less depressed and more sane and confident in themselves.
A gentle, non-judgemental approach is important for someone needing to consolidate identity or needing support in a major crisis. It provides an emotional safe zone to express one thoughts and find oneself.
In couple work the counsellor uses listening skills while encouraging the couple to begin to practice listening and acknowledging one another. Once a couple has learned to acknowledge the feelings of the other there can be couple resolution of relationship trauma. This can lead to deeper bonding helping the couple to become a solid team that can tackle anything together.
Inner Healing and Depression
Inner Healing makes use of prayer therapy in dealing with personal problems. The benefit of prayer therapy is that difficult issues can sometimes be helped very quickly. Here are some reasons for the efficiency of this method:
Inner Healing for depression brings healing to the core beliefs, attitudes and perspectives that generate the state of depression and can do so rapidly, completely and permanently. This is an advance over most other therapeutic methods.
As a Christian counsellor I understand each person has heart, spirit and mind. Heart means the emotional brain - the reservoir of significant personal memories and the core beliefs formed an the basis of these experiences.
The human spirit means one's core self - the inner being that gives life and meaning to our physical life. The human spirit is our true inner being that loves and is loved, develops empathy, creativity, and is the source of intuition and inspiration.
The human mind is the more rational logical source of thinking based on verbal information. So language is necessary for the mind to think and reason. But the Heart has reason that the mind knows not of, and the Human spirit has reason that the mind knows not of. The mind is not usually directly aware of what is happening at the heart or spirit level of consciousness. The mind cannot control or easily change the core beliefs of the heart or the state of being of the spirit.
When I look at depression from the point of view of our Inner Child, I am looking at what has happened in the heart and what has impacted the human spirit. Depression is when the Inner Child feels no joy and the heart no love.
Depression is what it feels like to run out of life energy. To ‘run on empty.’ When love and life no longer flows freely to and through our spirit. If our life is like an inner candle, then depression is when our candle is flickering out. It may feel like something is trying to extinguish our life.
Links to Pages on original HealMyLife.com:
Agape Christian Counselling original website.
Board of Reference
Professional Observers of Inner Healing and Deliverance Retreat
1 Listening Prayer Therapy
2 Grief and Comfort
3 Anger, Hate, Forgiveness, Love
4 Recent Trauma
5 Burden Exchange
6 Identity Consolidation
7 Cleanse the Temple
8 Peace with Heaven
9 Healing of Trauma
10 Listening Prayer for Dreams
11 The Children's Garden
12 Listening Prayer Journal
13 The Theophostic Breakthrough
Crafted Prayers from HealMyLife.com:
1. Put it on the Altar
2. Job Interview Prayer
3. Prayer of Protection
4. Listen to God Life-style
5. Faith of the Heart
6. How to pray for difficult people
7. How to pray in a personal crisis
8. How to pray for physical Healing
9. Healing of trauma and PTSD
10. Deliverance from Curses
11. How to break Curses
12. Spiritual Warfare
13. Partner on a Pedestal
14. Release Expectations,
15. Cut Umbilical Cords (soul ties)
It was like I lived in a fog when I was young. That is how weak my sense of self was. A strong inner force worked below the surface. It tried to connect with God for the love and life I so much needed. See:
Report of marriage therapy with a narcissist.
For psychotherapy / therapy for anxiety Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville.
Understanding Psychotherapy for Bipolar Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario.
Healing Codependent Issues with therapy and self-help.
Christian therapy, psychotherapy for Depression in Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
Therapy/therapist for Nervous Breakdown, Mental Oakville, Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario.
Deliverance from evil strongholds in Christian Therapy/ counselling Toronto, Mississauga, Ontario
What causes Psychopathy, therapy, psychotherapy Mississauga, Oakville, Toronto, Ontario
Codependency and Christian marriage counselling
Christian therapy, counselling Dealing with Curses, Mississauga, Toronto, Oakville, Ontario.
10 Blocks to Marital Intimacy
Avoidant Personality and Silent Divorce, Christians and Divorce
Links to Life Transformation Group:
George HartwellAnna Wolanczyk Psychotherapy Blog
Registered Christian Psychotherapist in Mississauga
Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga, Toronto Polish speaking
Anna Wolanczyk registered psychotherapist by Skype, in Mississauga, Toronto, Ontario
George Hartwell registered psychotherapist and Christian counsellor in Mississauga, Toronto by Skype or phone or in person
Life Coaching by Registered Psychotherapist in Mississauga